Counting this semester's blessings.....46 at a time!

Ok, today's post is going to quickly throwback to a picture taken last year:



you know, or not.....whatever! Anyway, it was a picture of me holding my acceptance letter to the teacher education program here at my school. Big smile, thumbs up...the whole cheesy/excited nine yards!

Anyway, as I held that letter in my hand, I didn't fully grasp the emotional toll that two years worth of observations and teaching would take on me. However, as a sit at my computer, less than a week from graduation, I realize that this is what it is all about. All the hard work, the tears, the time away from family.....it comes down to them....all 46 of those blessings. First placement: 23 first grade students, and a teacher, 2nd placement: 21 kindergarteners and a teacher. I mean seriously, that means that this semester, 44 students sought for me to lead them, teach them, love them, and at times discipline them. I am sure they think that I taught them a lot, but rest assured, I think they may have taught me more than I taught them.

They taught me about the faith of a child. When we would go to classes, or to lunch, or when we had our drills....those students depended on me to lead them, they looked to me for guidance and reaction. As long as I was fine, they were fine......but the second a microscopic ounce of fear showed on my face, I had kids freaking out! Let me tell you, with that kind of power.....you learn to freak out on only the inside!

These kids taught me how to love unconditionally. They would love you no matter what, and they would run themselves ragged trying to please you. There were a couple students that I was convinced they HATED me, yet when it came time for me to leave, they were the ones who held on a little longer and a little tighter.

Mostly though, they taught me that every single time I have thought or muttered "I can't do this, " or "I'm not sure this is right for me," I was wrong! I can't see myself doing anything else!

A friend of mine asked me to sum up student teaching for them in under two sentences. My response was this "If I had a dollar for evey time I asked a student 'why are you crying now?' I would have enough money to pay back my student loans.....I woudl look like a stripper, but whatever! However, I would not change it for the world!"

so there you go folks......ramblings of a tired, totally stressed out college, soon to be graduate!

Until next week!

Confessions of an Ipod Collection

1. How would you describe your life? Jessie's Girl- Rick Springsteen

2. what is your best friend's theme song? I can't get Enough of Your Love- Bad Company

3. What's in store for this week? Buy You a Drank- T-Pain

4. What do you often think about? My Baby Loves Me Just the Way that I Am- Martina McBride

5. If someone said "You're hot" you would say? Drop it Like It's Hot

6.What type of men/women do you like? I Saw God Today- George Strait

7. How does the world see you? Twist and Shout- The Beatles

8. How will you be remembered? Hillbilly Deluxe- Brooks and Dunn

9. How do your friends see you?You're Gonna Miss This- Trace Adkins

10. What song describes your mood right now? Love Gets Me Every Time- Shania Twain

I swear I put it on shuffle and write the first song that came up! Couldn't have answered better if I tried! :)

Here's another one, just for fun!



How am I feeling today?
Come a Little Closer- Dierks Bentley

Will I get far in life?
Don't Stop Believin'-Journey

How do my friends see me?
Blue (Da Ba De)-Eiffel 65

Where will I get Married?
Hot in Here- Nelly (pretty sure that will just be the after wedding.... ;) )

What is my best friend's theme song?
No Air- Jordin Sparks

What is the story of my life?
Pop, Lock, and Drop It- Baby Huey

What is/was highschool like?
Check Yes Juliet- We the Kings

How can I get ahead in life?
Rockin the Beer Gut- Trailer Choir

What is the best thing about me?
Bed of Roses- Faith Hill

How is today going to be?
Just Died in your Arms Tonight-Cutting Crew

What is in store for this weekend?
These Days- Rascal Flatts

What song describes my parents?
Everything- Lifehouse

To describe my grandparents?
Not a Day Goes By- Lonestar (ok, that is weird....its like it just knows their gone....)

How is my life going?
Paralyzer- Finger Eleven

What song will they play at my funeral?
Who Needs Pictures- Brad Paisley

How does the world see me?
We Owned the Night- Lady A

Will I have a happy life?
American Soldier- Toby Keith (well I do love a boy in Uniform!)

What do my friends really think of me?
Achy Breaky Heart- Billy Ray Cyrus

Do people secretly lust after me?
If Today was your Last Day- Nickelback

How can I make myself happy?
You Raise me Up- Josh Groban

What should I do with my life?
Sk8er Boi- Avril Lavigne

Will I ever have children?
Two of a Kind, Working on a Full House- Garth Brooks (It's gonna be a HUGE house too!)

What is some good advice for me?
Daddy Sang Bass- Johnny Cash

How will I be remembered?
Hey Jude- The Beatles

What is my signature dancing song?
Summertime- Kenny Chesney (I do LOVE this song!)

What do I think my current theme song is?
The Best of Both Worlds- Hannah Montana

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
That Ain't no way to go- Brooks and Dunn

What type of men/women do you like?
More than a Memory- Garth Brooks

pretty good this round as well! :)

That moment when life hits me like a ton of bricks!

Decided to reorganize and get my scrapbook up a little more to date! This task drove home what I have been saying all along about my life. It is nowhere close to what I thought it would be, but everything I NEEDED it to be.....I just wish I had realized that a lo sooner!

For example.....in putting pictures into my photo album.....after having to unload 4 and a half photo albums I may add.....I realized that I did not have one single picture of Chris and I together. We were together nearly every single day for hours on end. We did a ton of fun things together, and there were plenty of opportunities to take a picture together. I mean, seriously, it take what, 3 seconds to take a picture? Five if you have the red eye preflash on? Yet, we never did. When I said something about it, my friend Kathryn, whom I love dearly and this is one of the reasons why, replies very matter-of-factually and says, "you know...that because you take pictures of only the most important things!" I couldn't agree more, I mean who can't take 5 seconds out of the hours on end they spend with someone to take a picture!

On a much happier note....I did a lot of scrapbooking today and it was super fun. We are going to be having a scrapbooking party type things here on campus in the next couple of weeks I am told, so I saved some of the scrapbooking for that.....looking forward to it.

Wrote my final lessons plans as a student teacher. Finished them last Thursday, and my last full day of teaching was on Friday. This week I have reading groups and that is it for the things that I am responsible for preparing for teaching! It is all beginning to feel so unreal! I also got a letter in my mailbox that has a paper to do exit counseling and obtain signatures in order to pick up my cap and gown! It all beginning to feel so real and yet so unreal all at the same time! I am so excited and terrified about entering "the real world." I mean, due to a cast and surgery my official enter into the real world will be delayed, but at any rate, I am terrified about what life is going to be like with no school, no homework, no professors....I mean for the first time in my life, I won't be planning to go to school in August and the thought of that is so relieving, yet so scary and so weird! Pray for me though, folks.....my after college is going to be a really bumpy road here at the beginning!!

Well, folks, that is all I have for now.....so until next time:

"Let your faith be bigger than your fears!"

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22!

So.....apparently people cannot resist taking pictures of me when I am sleeping! This was taken the night of my 22nd birthday......maybe the night before. Amber, Kathryn and I all slept in the TV lounge upstairs (I can almost hear my mom saying "Why do I even pay for her to have a room.....she is never it it!") and we watched movie into the wee hours of the morning. Anywho....I watched my very first scary movie start to finish.....on my 22nd birthday!

The day was pretty fun for the most part. We went to the mall in Quincy, I found a shirt......we went to BWW......LOVE LOVE LOVE that place! The waitress did not believe us that I was 22 though. She thought I was turning 20.....also, BWW does not sing to you on your birthday....they just give you ice cream! I also appreciated this. Amber and Kathryn got me a Stine, and sparkling grape juice to celebrate, and we hung out in the lobby all night. Overall, it was a pretty good day!

I blasted T-Swift's 22 all day long! I love when songs match up with my ages......look out 23.....Blink 182 will rain all over your day! Seriously though, it was a good distraction from all of the things stressing me out!

Oh, on another note: I turned in my Teacher Work Sample for the second time.....hoping for better news this time! :) I should know by the end of the week!

In a final question: Why does Kathryn say, that I'm "so cute while I sleep!"? I do not see it, I guess!!

"Our lives are the storybooks we write;that are wonderfully illustrated by the people we meet!"

To all of my friends: Thank you for giving me the best, brightest, and most exciting illustrations EVER, not just awesome, wonderful, bright illustrations on my birthday!

Remembering a 2,000 year old sacrifice!

I know I typically update on Saturday, but I was sick all day yesterday, and seriously slept nearly all day. I think I was only up for around 4-6 hours yesterday. It was good though.....my body needed it, and I have started feeling a little better today thankfully! Also, I knew that today would definitely be a day to write about! Got to see the nephew and celebrate Easter with the family (well, most of them anyway!).

Today, my family gathered around a table to eat lunch, we weren't all there, but it was still good. We were definitely missing Josh, Kelli, and Christopher Ryan, but we made the best of it. Krystal and mom made lunch, then Isaac had an Easter egg hunt! (I will have to add pictures later....apparently the internet hates the idea of pictures right now!)

After the Easter egg hunt, he went inside to get all of his Easter eggs opened and gone through! He also got his Easter basket! My mom has been making us Rice Crispie Easter baskets for as long as I can remember. From the time you are able to eat real food, you get an Easter basket made of rice crispies! I love it!

Despite being sick, and feeling like crud all day (well all weekend actually) it was a good visit home! I always love when I get to see the family and I am so excited that with only a month of school left, I will be home for good! I am so proud of myself for sticking with it and finishing, even when it got difficult! Now, my reward with be watching my niece grow up and not having to be around only in spurts like I was with Isaac these first couple years!

Today though, as I looked at my nephew, the gravity of what Jesus did really hit me. I began to look at him and how much hurt it would cause to lose him, and he is not even my child. I cannot even begin to imagine what God must have been feeling. Besides simply losing his child, he also had to turn His back on him when he needed Him the most. God cannot be in the presence of sin, and so I imagine the hardest thing for Him to do in all the history and future of time, was to turn His back on His one and only child. I mean, Isaac bonked his head today, and I scooped him right up and kissed his head to make it all better. I cannot even imagine having to turn my back on him for something even as simple as a bumped head. Let alone turn my back while he was being nailed to a cross to take the sins of a world that hated him! Anyway.....that was my food for thought today!

As for the rest of my weekend: I got very little accomplished that I set out to do. I planned on working on my Teacher Work Sample, didn't happen. Planned on writing lesson plans, also did not happen (but they were started and will get finished very soon). However, I feel like there are times in life, where you need to put some things on hold to take those opportunities that come few and far between. For me this weekend, it has meant resting and trying to get better, and cuddling up with my nephew to watch Thomas the Tank Engine. Those precious moments are moments that I know will start to fade all too soon, and let's face it. I would much rather remember cuddling with him, than working on my homework.....besides, it will get done.....it always does!

I shall update sometime in the near future regarding my dr. appointment tomorrow. Kind of relieved and kind of nervous, but I think it is getting to the point where surgery is going to become the only real option to determine what is wrong with me and to fix it......all I knwo for certain, is that I am in pain.....and I am ready to be done!

You are my steady in an ever changing world

So, I was talking to a friend today about how much my life has changed in just these last four years. I have lost friends I never thought I would lose, and gained friends that I never imagined the closeness we would have. So many memories and so many stupid mistakes. All in all, just different than what I had pictured it!

I planned on coming to HLG in hopes of getting an academic education. I planned on coming in as a business major, taking classes, leaving with a business degree and then moving on with my life, college a distant memory remembered only by the degree hanging on the wall. That was the plan. I knew I would make friends, but I was so convinced that I would not have a repeat of High School. The friends you have that you only keep to avoid the awkwardness of seeing them everyday, remembering what you once had.

However, I have never been really all that great at sticking to the plan! I typically have a rough idea, and then I end so far from it, that I wonder why I even bother to plan in the first place. It was evident to me that this was the way it was going to be when I walked into the lobby of the RFAC that registration day, and instead of walking over to the table with business professors, I ended up at the education table.....signing up for.....you guessed it....education classes! I decided that while this was not part of the plan, I would still stick to the rest of it....get in, get an education, get out.

However, if you know me at all.....that is totally NOT what happened. What I got in addition to an academic education was a world education. I learned two things pretty thoroughly! Life is about giving more when you feel like giving up, and that all that glitters is not gold!

Let me give you an example of this education:

Those in your life who promise to never hurt you, usually hurt you the worse! I haven't figured out if this is because of what they do, the fact that you had so much trust in your heart for them, or an extreme combination of the two!



This is Jessi Lynn and Shawncee. In high school, they were a strong part of the Fabulous Five. "The group" consisted of Jessi Lynn, Shawncee, Rachel, Jessi Michelle, and myself. We could always be found at each other's houses and we were never apart at school unless we were forced to be. We were obnoxious on the weekends, but for the most part we were well behaved, although outspoken, in the classroom. We kinds fell away after graduation, but then came back together about a year later. They were there for me through the whole first ex-boyfriend saga. Well, Jessi was, after giving me the "I told you so." that I deserved, but Shawncee took his side, and I am not so shallow that I won't talk to her or anything, she just doesn't talk to me, and I can't say it bothers me! I don't mean to sound terrible, but I feel like in life, as you get older, you are going to outgrow people and that is perfectly fine. I am not really sure what happened with Jessi. One day we were friends and then the next day we just weren't. Again, upward and forward. You become like the five people you spend the most time around.......choose wisely!


Ok, so apparently my Blogger does not like the next picture. At any rate. It was a picture of me and Fab Five member #3. Her name is Rachel, and her, Jessi Michelle, and I were probably the closest out of the five. Her and I have some awesome memories, from pillow talk about boys, future dreams, and biology (for some unknown reason, I felt the need to explain genetics to her at three in the morning), sharing a meal my parents cooked before senior prom, so many hair stylist sessions I lost count, riding horses, teaching me to shoot a bow and arrow, and laying out on the trampoline to watch a meteor shower out in the country where there were no city lights to screw everything up. She was my best friend, and I thought it would always be that way. I never knew how wrong I would be, and the hardest part is that while she hurt me in a way she knew would hurt the worst.....I still wonder about her, and sometimes actually worry about her. I wish that I could remember the awesome memories, and forget the worst one, but I can't. Again....upward and forward. I can't stay friends with someone who hurts me on purpose. No offense to her, I just can't.



This is Jessi Michelle, member #4. We grew apart for a really long time, and the last year or so, we have had our spurts of communication. Up until tonight, they had just been small talk, maybe some talk about relationships or things like that, but tonight it was different. Tonight it kind of felt like old times. I guess time heals all wounds, and slowly you begin to realize that even though the guy you liked fell for her.....you will be OK! That being said....that wasn't the only factor of our fall, but it did not help at all! I love her to death, and getting a message tonight that called me "momma Colee" was a nice reminder that we didn't grow apart nearly as much as I thought we had. I was actually talking to her about this exact topic this evening, and then decided to vent via blogger. Lucky you who are reading this! Her and I were talking about how she always said she would never get married, now here she is getting ready to celebrate her third anniversary. And then I used to say that I would fall in love, get married, graduate college, and start a family all by time I was 23. I don't know why I chose 23.....probably because as a 17 year old....20 seems FOREVER away, and so 23 seems like eternity! At this point in my life, I am sitting in a dorm room, 6 weeks away from college graduation....with no engagement ring, no near plan of children, and a broken heart from the only guy I ever thought I "loved." life is soooo not what I have planned. But as Jessi reminded me tonight "My life is nothing I had planned, but everything that God had planned for me! And I wouldn't give up what I have for anything!" That is so true and so wise. Thanks for the reminder Jess!

Now for college!



My friend circle has changed so much from that first day when I walked into college as a terrified freshman who had few friends here, and a friend group that consisted mostly of people my sister knew. I was best friends with my roommate, and up until recently, we still talked quite often. This is her and I one day in her car, getting ready to go to her house! We were so inseperable during New Student Orientation. She was my steady in the ever changing world that became college.



Next came rooming with my best friend at college, despite my sister's warning that it was a terrible idea. As Thanksgiving rolled around and we were still super close, I kept telling my sister she was wrong. Sometime within a year after this picture (we are mud fighting on the banks of the Mississippi River, btw), Rachel and I's relationship started to take a nose dive, and ended with a big explosive wreck.....no survivors! She came back her senior year and I danced around the edges of spending time with her and then she graduated. She came to visit a few times this year, I was cordial, but it definitely was not what it used to be. I have some of my best college memories with her that I would not trade for all the blueberry tea in China. If you know anything about my more recent obsessions.....Blueberry tea ranks right up there with Morgan from Criminal Minds!




As of right now, this is my group.....plus Jared, but he is newest member and I don't have any pics with him. Also, we don't have a picture with everyone, but that's ok! I make it work! I love this group and when we are snowed in tomorrow, I would love nothing more than to be snowed in with them! We are missing our hyperactive Aimee, but we are managing! I couldn't imagine life without these guys! WE find fun in everything. Although we are totally different, that is what makes us work. I mean, seriously, who wants a group of people they have everything in common with. They find my dislike of peanut butter weird, just like I find their desire to pay to dress up as anime characters weird. Come on though, why pay to do that, when you can just dress up for Halloween for free, plus have candy! From late night Wal-Mart runs, to CD that make me cry being slid under my door. These people have made college so much different than I ever pictured it in my entire life....in the best way possible! Seriously though, they are the cheese to my macaroni, the yin to my yang, and the steady to my ever changing world!

Making Changes

This, is my friend Kathryn! She is the one that most of my friends call dad (long story), while they mainly call me mom! Anywho, she was awesome this weekend, well more than just this weekend, but this weekend, she helped me move my room all around! I really appreciated it, considering my foot never would have allowed me to do what it took to get everything moved! Now my room is all cozy and homey feeling! A HUGE THANKS to Kathryn for helping me this weekend!



Then, one of my besties, Amber, came over today and hung out with Kathryn and I. We went to lunch, dyed hair, did a mock prom style, and played Wii. It was a very fun, very productive day! I love weekends with these girls! Especially when those weekends do not involve having to hang out and write lesson plans all weekend! Got all of those things done this past week! Handed them to my teacher Friday morning. This means, I have some things to color this weekend, and things to assemble for examples.



In final weekend news, I also got my hair cut on Friday, and then colored it today. I got this picture after it got cut, I don't have one of the color yet, but it didn't really look a whole lot different. Enough to notice in person, hard to see in pictures and so far from drastic. That is good though, so it works! Not EXACTLY what I was going for, but definitely alright!

That is about all that my weekend held! Except, I also got snapchat, which I haven't decided yet if that is good or bad lol! Until next post, just remember: "It doesn't matter if the glass is half full, or half empty. Be grateful you have a glass and something to out in it!"