Ok, today's post is going to quickly throwback to a picture taken last year:
you know, or not.....whatever! Anyway, it was a picture of me holding my acceptance letter to the teacher education program here at my school. Big smile, thumbs up...the whole cheesy/excited nine yards!
Anyway, as I held that letter in my hand, I didn't fully grasp the emotional toll that two years worth of observations and teaching would take on me. However, as a sit at my computer, less than a week from graduation, I realize that this is what it is all about. All the hard work, the tears, the time away from family.....it comes down to them....all 46 of those blessings. First placement: 23 first grade students, and a teacher, 2nd placement: 21 kindergarteners and a teacher. I mean seriously, that means that this semester, 44 students sought for me to lead them, teach them, love them, and at times discipline them. I am sure they think that I taught them a lot, but rest assured, I think they may have taught me more than I taught them.
They taught me about the faith of a child. When we would go to classes, or to lunch, or when we had our drills....those students depended on me to lead them, they looked to me for guidance and reaction. As long as I was fine, they were fine......but the second a microscopic ounce of fear showed on my face, I had kids freaking out! Let me tell you, with that kind of power.....you learn to freak out on only the inside!
These kids taught me how to love unconditionally. They would love you no matter what, and they would run themselves ragged trying to please you. There were a couple students that I was convinced they HATED me, yet when it came time for me to leave, they were the ones who held on a little longer and a little tighter.
Mostly though, they taught me that every single time I have thought or muttered "I can't do this, " or "I'm not sure this is right for me," I was wrong! I can't see myself doing anything else!
A friend of mine asked me to sum up student teaching for them in under two sentences. My response was this "If I had a dollar for evey time I asked a student 'why are you crying now?' I would have enough money to pay back my student loans.....I woudl look like a stripper, but whatever! However, I would not change it for the world!"
so there you go folks......ramblings of a tired, totally stressed out college, soon to be graduate!
Until next week!
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