I planned on coming to HLG in hopes of getting an academic education. I planned on coming in as a business major, taking classes, leaving with a business degree and then moving on with my life, college a distant memory remembered only by the degree hanging on the wall. That was the plan. I knew I would make friends, but I was so convinced that I would not have a repeat of High School. The friends you have that you only keep to avoid the awkwardness of seeing them everyday, remembering what you once had.
However, I have never been really all that great at sticking to the plan! I typically have a rough idea, and then I end so far from it, that I wonder why I even bother to plan in the first place. It was evident to me that this was the way it was going to be when I walked into the lobby of the RFAC that registration day, and instead of walking over to the table with business professors, I ended up at the education table.....signing up for.....you guessed it....education classes! I decided that while this was not part of the plan, I would still stick to the rest of it....get in, get an education, get out.
However, if you know me at all.....that is totally NOT what happened. What I got in addition to an academic education was a world education. I learned two things pretty thoroughly! Life is about giving more when you feel like giving up, and that all that glitters is not gold!
Let me give you an example of this education:
Those in your life who promise to never hurt you, usually hurt you the worse! I haven't figured out if this is because of what they do, the fact that you had so much trust in your heart for them, or an extreme combination of the two!
This is Jessi Lynn and Shawncee. In high school, they were a strong part of the Fabulous Five. "The group" consisted of Jessi Lynn, Shawncee, Rachel, Jessi Michelle, and myself. We could always be found at each other's houses and we were never apart at school unless we were forced to be. We were obnoxious on the weekends, but for the most part we were well behaved, although outspoken, in the classroom. We kinds fell away after graduation, but then came back together about a year later. They were there for me through the whole first ex-boyfriend saga. Well, Jessi was, after giving me the "I told you so." that I deserved, but Shawncee took his side, and I am not so shallow that I won't talk to her or anything, she just doesn't talk to me, and I can't say it bothers me! I don't mean to sound terrible, but I feel like in life, as you get older, you are going to outgrow people and that is perfectly fine. I am not really sure what happened with Jessi. One day we were friends and then the next day we just weren't. Again, upward and forward. You become like the five people you spend the most time around.......choose wisely!
Ok, so apparently my Blogger does not like the next picture. At any rate. It was a picture of me and Fab Five member #3. Her name is Rachel, and her, Jessi Michelle, and I were probably the closest out of the five. Her and I have some awesome memories, from pillow talk about boys, future dreams, and biology (for some unknown reason, I felt the need to explain genetics to her at three in the morning), sharing a meal my parents cooked before senior prom, so many hair stylist sessions I lost count, riding horses, teaching me to shoot a bow and arrow, and laying out on the trampoline to watch a meteor shower out in the country where there were no city lights to screw everything up. She was my best friend, and I thought it would always be that way. I never knew how wrong I would be, and the hardest part is that while she hurt me in a way she knew would hurt the worst.....I still wonder about her, and sometimes actually worry about her. I wish that I could remember the awesome memories, and forget the worst one, but I can't. Again....upward and forward. I can't stay friends with someone who hurts me on purpose. No offense to her, I just can't.
This is Jessi Michelle, member #4. We grew apart for a really long time, and the last year or so, we have had our spurts of communication. Up until tonight, they had just been small talk, maybe some talk about relationships or things like that, but tonight it was different. Tonight it kind of felt like old times. I guess time heals all wounds, and slowly you begin to realize that even though the guy you liked fell for her.....you will be OK! That being said....that wasn't the only factor of our fall, but it did not help at all! I love her to death, and getting a message tonight that called me "momma Colee" was a nice reminder that we didn't grow apart nearly as much as I thought we had. I was actually talking to her about this exact topic this evening, and then decided to vent via blogger. Lucky you who are reading this! Her and I were talking about how she always said she would never get married, now here she is getting ready to celebrate her third anniversary. And then I used to say that I would fall in love, get married, graduate college, and start a family all by time I was 23. I don't know why I chose 23.....probably because as a 17 year old....20 seems FOREVER away, and so 23 seems like eternity! At this point in my life, I am sitting in a dorm room, 6 weeks away from college graduation....with no engagement ring, no near plan of children, and a broken heart from the only guy I ever thought I "loved." life is soooo not what I have planned. But as Jessi reminded me tonight "My life is nothing I had planned, but everything that God had planned for me! And I wouldn't give up what I have for anything!" That is so true and so wise. Thanks for the reminder Jess!
Now for college!
My friend circle has changed so much from that first day when I walked into college as a terrified freshman who had few friends here, and a friend group that consisted mostly of people my sister knew. I was best friends with my roommate, and up until recently, we still talked quite often. This is her and I one day in her car, getting ready to go to her house! We were so inseperable during New Student Orientation. She was my steady in the ever changing world that became college.
Next came rooming with my best friend at college, despite my sister's warning that it was a terrible idea. As Thanksgiving rolled around and we were still super close, I kept telling my sister she was wrong. Sometime within a year after this picture (we are mud fighting on the banks of the Mississippi River, btw), Rachel and I's relationship started to take a nose dive, and ended with a big explosive wreck.....no survivors! She came back her senior year and I danced around the edges of spending time with her and then she graduated. She came to visit a few times this year, I was cordial, but it definitely was not what it used to be. I have some of my best college memories with her that I would not trade for all the blueberry tea in China. If you know anything about my more recent obsessions.....Blueberry tea ranks right up there with Morgan from Criminal Minds!
As of right now, this is my group.....plus Jared, but he is newest member and I don't have any pics with him. Also, we don't have a picture with everyone, but that's ok! I make it work! I love this group and when we are snowed in tomorrow, I would love nothing more than to be snowed in with them! We are missing our hyperactive Aimee, but we are managing! I couldn't imagine life without these guys! WE find fun in everything. Although we are totally different, that is what makes us work. I mean, seriously, who wants a group of people they have everything in common with. They find my dislike of peanut butter weird, just like I find their desire to pay to dress up as anime characters weird. Come on though, why pay to do that, when you can just dress up for Halloween for free, plus have candy! From late night Wal-Mart runs, to CD that make me cry being slid under my door. These people have made college so much different than I ever pictured it in my entire life....in the best way possible! Seriously though, they are the cheese to my macaroni, the yin to my yang, and the steady to my ever changing world!
I love all of your sap. :) And aww, the CD made you cry? Hopefully in a good way. I love you a bunch Nicole and I am so glad you are in my life!
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